The Mother of All Blogs

Friday, February 18, 2005

Like Mark Steyn , or is it Mark Twain, reports of whose death was greatly exaggerated; I am back.

Now, this is good news. Of a sort.Yes, yes, yes.

And while they're at it, what I want, is for the Belgians to get sued. You know, for standing by (or rather, f*ing off) and letting it happen. Why does one wish this ? Because of the old Pot-kettle-black (April 7-14) thing.

And get how The Devil Made Me Do It theme keeps cropping up. Who knew?

I guess when you are caught with your pants down, it ranks right up there with the Nuremberg defense ("following orders").

He should have been impeached for this and nothing else.

Sunday, November 28, 2004

OK. The Risible Human is coming out of a Long-Term-Relationship and a hot shower, simultaneously. This makes him drowsy and horny. Consequently he has been setting up an internet matchmaking dealie.
So what is it with you girls huh? Talk talk talk talkety talk. When all a reasonable man wants to do is replace the first three letters of the above musical arrangement? And what is with all these internet matchmaking sites where the women all want a guy who makes them laugh? Laugh?Laugh? Listen not-sister, no guy can make you laugh. Only you can laugh. All you want is for him to laugh at your witticisms, no? (I say this brutal truth in the sure knowledge that absolutely no available babes are reading this blog, and therefore will not be turned off, turn tail, so to speak, and run). In fact, sometimes the guy wants to make you cry, and this he will do with the expertness of a long and blisslessly wedded life.
And, when you post NO INCOME, you just know don't you, that YOU ARE LOOKING for a Sugar Daddy, right? Been there, done that, no way no more.

Friday, November 26, 2004

The Risible Human recommends...I am Harlot Simmones. Not that I read the f'ing review in full. Quelle vie! Quelle femme! There must be a relief from this unending bonded servitude. What is the alternative, as Lenin asked.
No, no, that way lies madness. Stuck in this merriless go-round, do we all contemplate putting a bullet in our heads? Do we write something to cauterize and for catharsis? Do we watch a Prague hottie with finely slanted eastern eyes and shortcut blond hair get it on till the early morning on the Spice Network? Do we? DO WE??? Let me know if YOU have any clue, dead enders and dear readers of the lost ark, and we will take it from there.
Update :
Happy Tofurkey, Tofu, Turkey, Day to all those of you who have thanks to give. For the rest of us who are articulate, Join the happy fun slander contest or something. For others, Take a course in gun safety and ownership, and go out and shoot on a shooting range only, at inanimate targets only. This message has been brought to you by the NRA.

Wednesday, November 10, 2004

Discovered this thx to this post from the Kommissar. He will surely have me shot for this.

Thursday, November 04, 2004

Vraiment, c'est drole. A google translation : How to turn your lemondes into lemonade Via Tim Blair

Wednesday, November 03, 2004

For the record -
I supported a Bush victory, although I cannot vote in this election and most of the good people I know were rooting for Kerry - for no other reason than for denying comfort to Islamist terrorists. I did not support a war in Iraq, much preferring tougher action in Saudia and Pakistan, and I hope that things change for the better.

I realize the Moral Majority elected Bush, and they may be of the opinion that people like me belong in hell. I am not happy with that, but I prefer to side with people who think I belong in Hell rather than people who will take the trouble to send me there.

So there.

Spent Nov 02 (Election Night) in the Commissar's chat room. Ohio is still in the balance, depending on the number of provo ballots that go for Kerry, but as of now CNN reports that Kerry is conceding. My fingernails are down to the cuticles.

The She says that U-Haul must be rather put-off because a Kerry victory would mean that the Incumbent and the Challenger are going to unpack their bags and stay where they are, thereby cancelling their reservations. Hyuck. Good idea for a cartoon there.

Words.Fail.Me
(Think he must have been encouraged by the Bush Victory ?)

Monday, November 01, 2004

I plan to spend to spend the November 2 2004 celebrating my free and private right to Watch Porn : Erection Day.

I believe Kerry will be a furious and bloodthirsty fighter. As such, I prefer Kerry over Bush.
I believe Bush should be thanked for taking the fight to an as-yet unIslamised nation and turning it into an Islamist rathole. As such, I prefer Bush over Kerry.

Don't get me wrong. Nothing succeeds like excess, and maybe all the throat-slitting will make Iraqis think twice about whether they want an Islamic OR Nationalist Government. Nationalism is fine, in moderation - taken too far, it leads to this.

So - if anyone out there is reading this - Vote for Either Bush or Kerry. Don't Vote for the Supreme Nadir. You are also forbidden from voting for people with names like Badnarik or Bandaranaike

OK, here is my take on the elections.

Most of the people I know are voting Kerry except for a few business owners who are contemplating the tax cuts with glee and some crusty old men. Mostly the pattern I see is :
Younger yuppies, minorities/immigrants etc side with Kerry (democrat) while white older people go with Bush. It depends on how violated you felt by 9/11, I suppose.

Ultimately it will depend on how many people each side can get out to vote. For conspiracy buffs and doom and gloom theorists, here is something to chew on and spit out with venom : If Bush AND Kerry are offed, either by the gentle Misters of Mercy or by Coup loving autochtonic nuthouses, what's going to happen? Military takeover? Pogroms? Deportations? Nuke Strikes? And where is my Underground Air Filtered Chemical Attack Resistant Externally Irradiated Bioweapon Begone Nuke Proof Ultra Titanium Bunker when I need one?

Put your money where your vote is